Summer So She Says
by redireas
Summary: The summer before seventh year, James and Lily discover they have one thing in common: they are both miserable.
1. The Initials

**A/N: I recently checked the rating system and this probably falls within M, but there is nothing explicit here. Just references, cursing, and mature themes I guess. Mature teens can deal, I think. **

**Well, here it is: my most recent attempt at a story. Let's see how long this one lasts, shall we? ;)**

**Disclaimer: Not mine. The idea of James being a smoker came into my brain from Girl on a Yellow Bike, Marauders Chick. I thought it was an awesome fit. So, thanks Marauders Chick wherever you are. And JKRowling owns characters. I'd like to think the plot is mine, although the characters JKR wrote so heavily influence it, the plot is more hers too.**

**SUMMER SO SHE SAYS**

"James, it would be nice if you didn't burn the carpet." A cigarette stain, James was learning, was tricky to get out of rugs – even with magic.

"It's hot."

Four boys, arguably men but not quite mature enough to handle the title, were sprawled about the living room of a cramped house. One boy, the roundest, was bent over the arm of a vomit-green sofa and moaned again, "It's hot."

James, the lanky one with the cigarette, took another drag and gazed out the window. "Would you put that out?" another asked from the doorway, standing with his arms crossed and watching the fumes dance without the same poetic dream-state as James.

Taking a dramatic sigh, or possibly drawn out simply from heat and the huge amount of energy it took to even move, James put out the cig on the sole of his shoe and admired the ashes collecting artistically beneath him. The fourth boy, attractive and black haired like James, rolled over on the floor. "Thanks Moony, James sucking on his dainty was my only source of entertainment." He paused and watched James take in a deep breath, "Oh, no, not Lily again…"

"Lily-"

"Merlin."

The one standing, Moony, who had proven to be the most mature of the bunch, stared. "Why don't you go outside?"

"And watch the grass grow? No offense Remy; but your neighborhood's about as interesting as Pete's belly lint."

James laughed airily. "There was a time when we found that quite amusing."

Peter giggled and pulled up his shirt, examining his belly button. The man at the door ignored them. "There's a play lot – down about two streets. Why don't you go down there and knock some kids off the monkey bars or whatever the hell you delinquents like to do."

The fourth boy opened his mouth in mock indignation. "Really Remus, how could you…"

"Just go."

James and his friends left, the two at the front were clearly the ringleaders of the group and Pete stayed a couple steps behind still twisting his fingers through his belly button. "Oy!" The loud one called between his hands, "who am I?" He paused, walking backwards and doing a decent imitation of a small insignificant turtle. He then slicked his hair over his eyes and began breathing heavily.

"Snivelly!" James shouted triumphantly. The others laughed and the boy pretending to be Snivelly got out of character. "Come on," James encouraged, "do another."

And so they walked the blocks to the playground, first watching the boy take on a man with a rather large stomach and deep seemingly intelligent voice. "Slughorn!" Pete squeaked. Then the boy took on a prissy old woman, correctly identified as McGonagall, followed shortly by Remus, the boy from the house.

"James," The boy faked a high voice, "put out that cigarette! You'll just ruin that lovely carpet."

James grinned. "Hey, Wormtail, careful, this is a muggle neighborhood!" For, Wormtail had taken a long stick out of his pocket. Of course, magical sticks in muggle neighborhoods were unacceptable.

The play lot seemed minute; the teeny swings and short seesaw. The loud one naturally felt it was his responsibility to ride the seesaw and nearly dismantling it single-handedly. James took to watching, leaning against the rod iron swing set while Wormtail practiced inappropriate actions on the pole. "Pete, you're supposed to slide down it." James said as the other boy bent over in hysterics.

Wormtail shrugged and continued dancing, "This is more fun."

"Muggle play lots are sort of boring, aren't they?" James asked the others. "Everything's just… there."

Everyone ignored him and the boy who had been keeling over from laughter was now giving Pete a very serious look. "Alright Wormtail. I think you're scaring off the squirrels."

Wormtail gave the boy a look before climbing up into the red tubing. "Sirius really, you're going to break that…"

"James…" James looked up at Pete, who was looking at the inside of the slide. "C'mere."

James turned to the third boy, Sirius, and rolled his eyes; there was probably a bug that he wanted James to smash or something.

He climbed up to the tube – it was pretty small and extremely cramped by the time James even tried to get in – and asked Wormtail what he so desperately needed James in this close proximity for. "Now, why the hell are we in here?"

Pete pointed to markings on the inner tubings, his hand glowing red from the reflections. James followed his finger with his eyes. LME was drawn loosely in dark marker, near a PGE. Pete gazed tentatively at James who immediately felt his pocket for his cigarettes and felt his way off of the jungle gym.

"What's goin' on?" Sirius asked, marching over at the sight of James with his cigarette (it was now common knowledge among the Marauders that James smoked when he was thinking of Lily).

James didn't speak but calmly smoked by the seesaw and allowed Sirius to investigate. "LME?!" He near shouted a minute later. "Aw, mate, really, you don't think?"

When James didn't respond Sirius continued. "She isn't here Prongs. Think of all the LME's there are in the world! Lily Evans… M? What's the M? Marigold?"

"Marie."

"Ah. Well, I know many LMEs, so don't you worry about it."

James took a momentary break from his cigarette. "You know many LMEs?"

"Yes!" Sirius insisted without hesitation.

"Okay, name them."

Sirius paused, contemplating whether or not lying would be appropriate in this situation, but James called him on it. "James!" Sirius laughed out of irony and, really, to get James smiling again. "We both know this is just some muggle girl who came here to fool around with her boyfriend one night…"

"PGE… Her sister's name started with a P I think… Penny or something…"

"And in this muggle neighborhood?!" Sirius scoffed at his surroundings. "Why the hell would Lily be _here_?"

James took a drag. "She's muggle-born you idiot."

Pete had jumped from the slide and stood behind Sirius, making faces at James, who laughed lightly, only because his friends had been trying so hard to distract him.

"Alright mate!" Sirius shouted when James put out the cigarette and did not reach for another one. "Damn initials. Don't mean anything."

James, walking back to Remy's with the others, thought differently. Somewhere in the pit of his stomach he knew that those initials were not just from some muggle in the midst of passionate lovemaking; he had this weird feeling that it was Lily, Lily Marie Evans scrunched up within the slide next to her sister. James sighed and reached for another cigarette.


	2. The Engagement

**A/N: Ha! I have made it to chapter two of a fic. I am on a roll. But, of course, vacation is a'callin' and I'm headin' out for a week so the next post won't be for a little bit. (Don't worry folks. I **_**do**_** intend on having a chapter three:D)**

**Disclaimer: As usual: the characters are not mine. The spell is from the books and I received assistance from hp-lexicon (which is the most glorious site, although I'm sure you've already been there if you're a HP fan). **

**NOSTALGIA**

There was dirt. It was all over the floor. And the likely suspects were the tainted boots near the back door (they tended to track things more than most boots, although they were Mum's favorites).

Lily grabbed a hand towel, rinsed it, and paused. How tedious: cleaning! Why get on your hands and knees to scrub when you could simply flick your wand? The possibilities were endless!

Her wand was in her coat, in her bedroom, on the other side of the house. Of course, to magically scrub, she'd need her wand. Lily sighed. Perhaps being at home without her wand was important. Perhaps living for a few months without magic allowed her to respect and appreciate all the goods that magic could do.

Lily decided to get on her hands and knees and scrub.

"Oh, sorry dearest!"

Ms. Evans came in, newly showered and clean. She immediately bent down to help.

"Mum. Really. It's fine."

Ms. Evans wasn't quite sure if she should believe her daughter but did and headed towards the kitchen. "You should shower soon too. Petty's getting here in an hour." She stopped and didn't mention that her father was not home, although his absence was obvious.

Lily sang while she was in the shower; usually Beatles songs but lately Emmeline had introduced her to a new wizarding band – the Cosmos – and their songs were constantly running through her head. She rinsed her hair and remembered that Amos had owled earlier. Not that she related showering to Amos. It was just a thought that crossed her mind while she was showering…

Her mother had asked to meet him and Lily wasn't sure how she felt about bringing him home. She hadn't ever introduced a boyfriend to her family before and Amos seemed so mature and sophisticated – why these were negative points, she hadn't decided, although it probably had to do with the fact that he was getting his own apartment soon and had dropped none-too-subtle hints about her moving in with him. Lily turned of the water and just stood in the shower for a moment; what _would_ it be like to live with Amos? He wasn't a slob or anything, in fact he could be a little too obsessive. And he liked to party after Quidditch games, meaning long nights. Not to mention sharing his bed. It wasn't an awful thought, but they had only been dating for five months. Who moved in after five months? Merlin's beard she was still in school! She couldn't move in with a man!

"Lily?" There was a knock on the door. "Are you alright in there? You're talking to yourself again…"

Lily sighed and wrapped herself in a towel. "Yes, just…thinking I guess."

She dried and put on shorts and a shirt, then was told by her mother that she should dress up a little because Petty had 'good news.' Lily quickly retorted that when Lily announced her exceptional marks her mother wasn't wearing a sodding evening gown. Ms. Evans just rolled her eyes. "Please. We haven't seen her in a while." Lily remained cold; Ms. Evans gave her puppy dog eyes. "And you don't have to wear an evening gown! Just something that doesn't have a hole in it and preferably covers your thighs."

So Lily changed and met her mother at the table, set for four, where they distributed the fancy dinner glasses. Naturally Petty chose this precise time to arrive, which made Ms. Evans slightly anxious about not being ready.

"Mum, it's just Petunia!" Lily reasoned as she answered the door. Then again maybe she should have reason to feel under prepared. Petunia was at the doorstep, dressed in a new beige skirt and pink blouse, glowing as though she had the biggest secret.

"Oh, hi Petty!" Lily stammered, wondering what the hell happened to her sister and wanting the insanity to end.

"Oh, _darling_!" Petunia wrapped Lily in a hug and Lily was engulfed by some expensive smelling perfume. Lily coughed.

As Lily brought Petunia and her many traveling bags into the house, she made a desperate face at her mother who plainly ignored her. "Pet, oh don't you look," Ms. Evans ran her eyes over Petunia again, "fabulous!"

Petunia beamed even more so, if that was possible. She flung herself to the table where she began gushing about the smooth train ride over and the nice_st_ woman who sat beside her… All of this giddiness made Lily want to vomit. In the middle of a quick paced story about where she got her shoes, Petunia stopped and examined the room. "Where's Daddy?"

"Still at work." Ms. Evans chipped and handed her some soup, "We'll start without him."

Petty and Lily shared the briefest glance, but it was enough for Lily to know that her real sister was somewhere under all those frills.

"Anyway," Petunia picked up her tone, although she seemed less enthusiastic now, "after I saw them in the window, I told Vernon that they would be perfect for Thursday's luncheon and he just…"

"Vernon?" Her mother asked with a raised eyebrow.

Petunia blushed. "Yes, the one I've been seeing…"

"The one you forgot to mention until today?" Lily smiled at her sister, although there was a waspish undertone in her voice.

"I wish Daddy would hurry home!" Petunia whined and tapped the table excitedly.

"Why?" Lily inquired nosily, "What's so important about _Daddy _anyway?"

Petunia got quiet again and Ms. Evans looked worried. "Please stop, Lily. Could you pass the casserole?"

Lily reached for the tin, "What are the magic words?" she hassled.

"_Please_ will you pass the casserole?"

"Nope!" Lily sang, "It's _locomotor casserole_." The casserole rose and flew gracefully over to Ms. Evans, who grabbed it and served herself. She clapped impressively. "When did you learn how to do that, Lils?"

Lily smiled. "Well, I've known for a while, but I just turned of age so-"

Petunia, who was clenching her napkin now, rose out of her seat. "I'M GETTING MARRIED!"

There was silence. Lily gaped, open-mouthed at her sister while her mother adopted a more sophisticated approached: grinning.

"Petty that's… _wonderful!_" Ms. Evans crooned through her teeth, though Lily could see that her mother's eyes were slightly fearful. "Is it Vernon?"

Petunia nodded ecstatically.

"Petty!" Ms. Evans jumped up to go hug Petunia and, seeing that Lily was frozen in her seat, secretly motioned for her daughter to as well.

Lily got out of her seat and walked over to her family. She tried her hardest to put on a smile but she felt her lips slide into a grimace instead. _Vernon_, she thought, _what an awful name_.

Before she had time to fully congratulate her sister, Petunia and Ms. Evans were both crying and holding on to each other for dear life. Lily broke out of the grasp and felt her stomach give way; was she missing something? Why wasn't she happier for her sister? Well, they did look like idiots, prancing around and crying over a stupid engagement.

But Lily definitely felt like she was missing something, some sort of cool wedding-giddiness that she had never gotten the chance to experience. She wasn't jealous per say, just left out.

When her father came home he took the news a little differently; asking questions about Vernon and his job and where he lived and his past, etc. Petunia laughed it off as though Mr. Evans' prime concern was his little darling's safety, but Lily saw the look her mother gave her father when Petunia was indulging in her cake; it wasn't pretty.

Before Lily went to bed she considered floo-ing Amos to tell him the news, to "share her thoughts," but it all seemed too grown up; like they were playing house and she had to pretend to spill her emotions to him all the time. She decided against it. This protective feeling towards her sister and, this, – was it jealousy? – whatever it was, she had to keep it to herself.

She fell asleep with her sister snoring in the twin bed next to her and Lily, in the moments before she dreamt, she had the comforting sensation that she was ten again; that her sister was not engaged to a man nobody knew anything about, that she did not have a boyfriend who wanted her to move in with her and she did not have parents who were fighting quietly all the time.

**A/N: Okay, question… is this really M? I really only set it for M because of the smoking, etc, and possibly drinking, although none of it will be explicit. And my computer will only allow my curse word variety of the relatively tame-four letter friend category, so not many worries word-wise. If it ever is explicit in the future I **_**will**_** post a warning at the top of the page. So basically, I'm questioning if this is actually M so far. Please give me your opinion…**


	3. The Shirt

**A/N: Wow. This took a really long time to update. I really shouldn't have written at all (I should be reading summer books and all) but I had an urge to update, so sue me. Because everyone's waited, it's nice and long.**

**Disclaimer: The usual. Don't own it. Small spoilers for Deathly Hallows, not much.**

**THE SHIRT**

"You can't wear that!" Sirius pointed loudly to James' well-fitted shirt and whined like a teenaged girl.

"Why bloody well I can." James grinned, pleased with himself, pouring heaps of marmalade onto his toast, a cigarette hanging loosely in his left hand.

Sirius put an arm around James consolingly. "Jimmie-Poo, Prongs, Prongsie," Sirius liked to experiment, "I don't think you understand, mate." James ignored him but Sirius continued anyways. "That shirt is for poor flyers. Then it's like an excuse for their abysmal flying."

"I get how you could see that," James reasoned. "…But because I'm a good flyer, it suggests that I'm even better at snogging."

He was, of course, very proud of this shirt and only wore it on special occasions – namely trying to woo women. They were headed to Hogsmede today, on Remus' orders to get the fuck out of the house NOW, and also on Sirius' orders for James to get himself a nice looking bird who didn't go to Hogwarts.

When he explained the wooing-with-the-shirt idea to Sirius, it did not go over well. "Ha!"

"Oh, come on!" James moaned. He would not accept defeat. "Moony?"

Remus was not thrilled. "What do you want?"

James swiveled in his chair, to make his chest more attractive to the viewer. "What do you think of this shirt?"

Remus studied it blankly for a full minute before walking away. "Oy!" James called after him, "you have to settle something, alright?"

Remus sighed, "I don't think it's very fitting; and it definitely won't be fitting on _Sirius_."

"No," James stuck out his front a bit, "what do you think of the writing?"

Remus, nonplused, replied, "It's very… yellow."

Sirius jumped out of his chair, "Merlin and pixie caskets!" (The two others laughed silently at Sirius' outburst.) "Damnit, mate, it doesn't take that much to get what we're asking of you!"

"What I think Sirius means is," James translated, "do you think my shirt means that I can't fly and my excuse is that I can kiss," Sirius looked as though he wanted to interrupt, so James kept on, "_or_ do you think this shirt means that I am an exceptional flyer and therefore am outstanding kisser."

"Well," Remus said before Sirius could speak, "you're a good flyer, so I'd have to say the latter."

"Yes, but what if you didn't know James?"

The question was ludicrous. "Everybody knows James."

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It was a bit of a hike, but Lily had discovered her new admiration for hikes, so when the landlord asked if it was too high up she said it was fine. Amos was already scoping out the place when she got there, opening and closing cabinets, double checking sizes and closets; Lily had to admit, he looked quite the little homeowner. …Except they were renting a flat. _He _was renting a flat. _He_ was.

"So, let me know what you think; I'll leave you be." The landlord walked into another room, glancing at the view (probably to draw to attention the great windows or such).

"Well," Amos clapped his hands together, "what do you think?"

Lily smiled. "It's great. It really is."

Amos laughed heartily, out of pure excitement. "Can you believe this? We'll have a place to come to on our own…" He wrapped his arms around her and nibbled her neck. _A place to play house in_, Lily fantasized Amos coming home from interning, herself at the small kitchen inset. Something was wrong. She swallowed. "You mean _you'll_ have a place for us to come to."

"So you really think I should get it?" Amos asked, glancing nervously up at her from her chest. "You like it?"

"Yes, I like it."

"Great!" Amos jerked away from her enthusiastically, only to find that the landlord had wandered over to them at the mentioning of a sale. "We'll take it!"

The landlord smiled and handed them the papers.

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"I'll take a decaf."

"You'll take a what?" Sirius asked the impish girl sitting before him.

"I want decaf."

"What's the point of having a coffee then?" 

She shrugged, "I like the way it tastes."

"Nobody _likes_ _the way it tastes_." Sirius ignored the waitress, who was checking out James' shirt, murmuring, "I like the way it tastes."

James raised his eyebrows, but heard a soft ding which drew his attention to the front of the café where a redhead stood, glancing around for something or, his stomach lurched, somebody. "Shit."

"What?"

"Not you," He added to the waitress as he bolted unconsciously towards Lily, without even preparing a pickup line or speech. All that came out was a clipped shout. "Oy, Evans!"

Lily turned and he was already at eyelevel – it seemed that in the short amount of time it took to walk a few feet, James had jogged to reach her. "Hi, Lily."

"Hello, James." Calling him James was a bit strange; she felt the weird sense on her tongue as she spoke it. She glanced at his chest, which he was very clearly positioning for her to notice. "Nice shirt."

"Why, thank you."

"I was being sarcastic."

James took a long drag. Why the hell did he stand for this kind of abuse? Why was he so attracted to the woman who loathed him? "Love you too, dear."

Lily watched him for a moment, waiting for him to make some drastic move like he usually did. "Did you want something?"

James mind, which had been temporarily frozen by the surprise entrance of his wannabe lover, jumped to life. "Would you, err, like a coffee?"

She smiled; yes, an _actual_ smile. After all it was a weirdly polite gesture for Potter. "No thanks, I am not here for coffee." She paused as he tried to comprehend this. "I have an interview in a few minutes."

"Oh." He seemed to sink a few inches into the floor.

Lily almost felt bad for telling him no, which was a very peculiar feeling. "Thank you though," She offered, which was the best she could do under the circumstances. She overheard Sirius in the background loudly whispering "the flower has been spotted" and when she saw Remus she added. "And could you tell Remus that Barney's got some records in that he should check out?"

James nodded awkwardly.

"I should probably go," She paused ever so briefly. "Have a good summer, James."

"Right," He spoke, but she had already walked off to her interview.

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"You are so sexy."

"Amos -"

"Isn't this wonderful?"

"Please, this is weird."

"What?" 

"Well," Lily sat up, surveying the room. "There is no furniture."

Amos did not stop kissing her, even through his answers, "Don't worry – I'll take care of that tomorrow."

"Stop, okay?"

"What?" 

"Stop. I feel awful, I should be at home, Mum needs help."

"I thought Petty was home?"

Hearing Amos call her sister by the family nickname made her skin crawl. "Well, she's a little distracted."

"Oh," He seemed to get the point, finally ceasing to shower her with playful bites and altogether too-wet kisses. "Okay."

Had she been too harsh? "Where are you going to sleep?"

"I'll probably crash with my parents, mother's been nervous about the transition anyways." They sat for a moment in silence before Lily stood up, feeling the emptiness of the new flat. "I'll see you tomorrow then," she spoke before kissing him lightly. She apparated home, resisting the urge to drop by Remus' or Severus'. She went to bed without saying goodnight to her family, who would simply pester her about when she was bringing Amos home.

--------------

Lily had, of course, been mistaken. Over the next couple days, only her mother noticed her bizarre behavior and, after passing it off as food poisoning, actually asked her what was troubling her. She didn't answer. Her mother, who was putting up with Petunia's constant wedding bubbles, didn't even ask how Amos was doing. Lily wasn't sure if this was a good or bad thing.

Twice in three days she had seen Potter; once at the coffee shop, and once just down the street at the muggle jungle gym. She had hidden of course, in such a fury already Potter would certainly make things worse, but she couldn't shake the image of him from her mind. Not only was he in her neighborhood, but he was mere blocks away.

Slowly, as a week passed and Lily saw less and less of Amos, she wished more and more for her parents to bring him up, to notice his absence in her life – surely parents were supposed to notice such things! She hadn't spoken much since the night Amos bought the flat and each minute, each second, she was collecting thoughts and ugly remarks she couldn't wait to throw at the first person to mention him. Finally it occurred, two days before the family was expected to meet _Vernon_.

"Lily, how's Amos? You haven't spoken of him in a while."

Lily's hands grew hot. "He's fine."

_He's fine?! _After a week of brewing hatred towards, well, everyone, all she thought to say was _he's fine_?

"That's good. You should bring him over. We've never met him! It only seems fitting; we're meeting Vernon this week as well." Petunia threw her mother a look of disgust, as though Vernon should never be compared to anyone Lily was dating.

Lily didn't speak, a mute to which everyone had become accustomed, and Mrs. Evans continued on talking with Petunia about wedding matters.

That night, Lily ignored three owls and a floo message from Amos and, burdened from guilt, Lily decided to make her way to the muggle play set. She wouldn't be surprised if someone else was there, a teenager vandalizing, or an ambitious mother with their sleepless child. It was abandoned, or so she thought at first. Then she saw James.

"Hi." She was too tired to yell at him, or rather, to make up an excuse to yell at him.

"Hi."

He was standing by the swings, his cigarette lit and glowing bright as the colors around them faded into dusk. "You okay?"

She started crying; right there, in front of James, in front of her childhood memories, naked almost. And she was afraid that he'd make her feel more vulnerable, ask questions, pat her or something childish. But he didn't. He just let her cry. He reached over to hold her hand. She didn't object.

Eventually she gained some control, wiping her face. "Sorry."

He didn't say anything back, but she realized that he had stopped smoking and he was only watching her – not intently or anything that made her feel uncomfortable, just watching. "The other day, you told me to have a good summer."

"Yeah?" She sniffed.

"Did you really want me to have a good summer or was it one of those 'well, I need to get off, so I'll pick from a number of goodbye lines in my brain'?"

Lily laughed lightly. "Honestly? Probably the latter. Not that – well – not that I wish you ill or anything."

James laughed. He conjured a tissue. She looked slightly appalled, as they were in a muggle residence, but she took his tissue. "You want to talk about it?"

"About what?"

James smiled, like he had caught Lily at something. "Don't give me that."

She sat on a swing and looked up at him, or, at his shirt. It was the same as from a week ago.

"Like it?" He asked.

"Oh, it's _very_ flattering."

"Remus told me it wasn't my color."

"He wants me to move in with him."

"Remus?"

Lily answered him with an eye roll, and James apologized.

"I just – I don't think I'm ready to move in with anyone. I'm barely seventeen!"

"Right."

"And he has these weird sleeping schedules, not that I've noticed, but I just don't think it will be a good fit, especially now and I'm about to go off to Hogwarts and all, just in a few months, I mean does he really think I'm that thick?"

"Maybe he really likes you?" 

Lily moaned. "He told me he loved me."

"…Does this line usually generate so much pain in a woman?"

"My parents want to meet him!" She said dramatically, finally turning to face James, "don't they realize how much pressure that is?"

James didn't say anything.

"And he said _we_!" She threw her arms about, nearly falling off the swing. "When he told the landlord about the getting the flat, he said _we'd_ have it!"

James paused, adopting a Remus-like expression, "Have you talked to him about, well, everything?"

"No! Naturally I've been ignoring him for days!"

James' heart sped up. He didn't like to see Lily so miserable, but news that all was not well with the Lily/Amos relationship did bring him a small spark of hope. "Maybe you should speak with him."

"Oh, I don't know. I really don't want to bring him home. My parents will get ideas."

"What do you mean?"

"About marriage! Petty's engaged and now I've had a semi-serious relationship for five months and the man's actually decent which means I'm bound to end up marrying him of course!" She paused. "I just can't bring myself to break up with him. I just can't."

James' spirits soared. "But, you, er, want to?"

"Yes. Well, no. I think I do. I don't know, maybe we've just hit a rough patch. But I know that I don't want to move in with him, and I was planning on breaking up with him before school anyways."

"R-really?"

"Yes, it would be so much easier to start school fresh, I mean, he won't be around next year, will he? It's not like he can seriously expect that I would come home every break to him and his stupid flat, and why should I bring him home now, get my parents hopes up-"

"Lily, I have an idea…"

**-------**

**THE "MY BAD" SECTION**

**As I've reread past couple chapters, I've noticed where I've had a few slip ups. I don't have specifics, although once I wrote **_**of**_** instead of **_**off**_**, and I've been writing **_**Ms. Evans**_** instead of **_**Mrs. Evans**_**, so I will try to apologize for those mistakes as the story goes on in the "My Bad" Section. It's hard to keep up with everything without a beta, and I understand how even small grammatical/spelling errors can bring you out of the moment when reading a story, so I apologize. Some errors are intentional, but if you find spelling mishaps, etc, that bothered you, please let me know. They will come up on the "My Bad" Section… whenever I get a chance to update again… lol.**


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